Amen Sisi

Sometimes you just connect with people. Some days I just want to be doing more at Bula. I want more projects, but I also want to respect the balance. And sometimes I just need to be there waiting for who drops in.

Some days it is someone who just really needs someone to listen. We have counselors, but sometimes they don’t make it to the appointment. And I have the time to just be patient and listen. I have the luxury of getting back to what I was doing later and listen.

Sometimes everything out of a person’s mouth is what they think I want to hear and a lie. Some days it is important things. On days like today I wish I was certified as a counselor, so I could keep the trust people start building with me often in the reception area. But I have the ability to be straight with people or listen or give little ideas in the role I play.

Some days people come in and see me speaking English and avoid me like a plague. My colleagues are often disappointed in these people and know they could speak English if they wanted to. But the issues people come to Bula Monyako with are personal, so no one needs to be my best friend. I try to give them space and have other people work with them. In other situations I’d want to build more understanding, but I have no judgment for them. They are already judged enough or worrying what their status is.

Sometimes grannies and old men come in. Some that struggle with English or writing, but we communicate beautifully. We connect and I am able to assist them, or they are able to explain something.

Today some cans fell out of food parcels so I went quickly to the two pensioners that had been given parcels to check. I guess I grabbed one of the bags quickly and the man said “ohh do you work for the police.” I said no I don’t. He was playing some but said, “That’s the type of thing they used to do, they could just grab things from you or do anything they want.” I apologized and explained I just wanted him to get everything he was supposed to. I apologized a few more times after that and he said he knew he was just explaining about the police. As we were finishing the conversation I said very sincerely, “Well, Mkhulu I am very glad that this country has changed since then.” And he said, “Amen Sisi (Sister).”

Some days we learn, sometimes we pray. Some days we connect and things move forward. Amen.

Playing the Enemy by John Carlin

People forget Invictus and read this book. It is the book Invictus is based off of, but goes into all the ways Mandela has to learn about Afrikaaner culture (including Rugby) to win over his jailers and the government. And then after that to unite a nation. Well written and a gem for a peace and conflict resolution kid like me.

Mandela is getting out of Milpark hospital today. The hospital we know well from Emily and Joanne’s stay in July. And I must say Madiba is truly a leader, a father, and an uncle to this country. And I have more than become South African in that respect. I hope the country does not fear what happens to Mandela too much though, he is still a man. And his work will live in this country and with so many people. With people I meet, but they must not be afraid to see this in themselves. You see we all have a bit of our parents in us.

So get well Madiba, but we were listening even if we are afraid sometimes.

End of the intro to Playing with the Enemy by John Carlin

"More than once people remarked that the book I was going to write felt like a fable, or a parable, or a fairy story. It was a funny thing to say for those who had been the real-life protagonists of a blood-and-guts political tale, but it was true. That it was set in Africa and involved a game of rugby was almost incidental. Had it been set in China and the drama built around a water buffalo race, the tale might have been as enduringly exemplary. For it fulfilled the two basic conditions of a successful fairy story: it was a good yarn and it held a lesson for the ages.

Two other thoughts struck me when I took stock of all the material I had accumulated for this book. First, the political genius of Mandela. Stripped to its essentials, politics is about persuading people, winning them over. All politicians are professional seducers. They woo people for a living. And if they are clever and good at what they do, if they have a talent for striking the popular chord, they will prosper, Lincoln had it, Roosevelt had it, Churchill had it, de Gaulle had it, Kennedy had it, Mar¬tin Luther King had it, Reagan had it, Clinton and Blair had it. So did Arafat. And so, for that matter, did Hitler. They all won over their people to their cause. Where Mandela - the anti-Hitler - had an edge over the lot of them, where he was unique, was in the scope of his ambition. Having won over his own people - in itself no mean feat, for they were a disparate bunch, drawn from all manner of creeds, colours, and tribes ¬he then went out and won over the enemy. How he did that - how he won over people who had applauded his imprisonment, who had wanted him dead, who planned to go to war against him - is chiefly what this book is about.
The second thought I caught myself having was that, beyond a history, beyond even a fairy tale, this might also turn out to be an unwitting addition to the vast canon of self-help books offering people models for how to prosper in their daily lives. Mandela mastered, more than anyone else alive (and, quite possibly, dead), the art of making friends and influencing people. No matter whether they started out on the extreme left or the extreme right, whether they initially feared, hated, or admired Mandela, everyone I interviewed had come to feel renewed and improved by his example. All of them, in talking about him, seemed to shine. This book seeks, humbly, to reflect a little of Mandela's light."

The Price of Avocados

When I was visiting my friend Katie last April in Malawi, we had lots of avocados and friends of hers sent me back with some that I carried on the 40 hours bus ride home. And then we ate guacamole. After this I decided I needed to stop being cheap and enjoy avocados. This took a bit of time but by the time we moved into joburg and had street markets to get more avocados. The way I saw it 3 rand was much better than $3 in the US. (3 rand is about 40 cents USD)

Then they started going out of season – but I got to accept that 5 or 6 rand would be okay everyone once in a while. And I began to say what am I going to do without avos.

Well today as few vendors still sell them, I saw them in the store. They looked about, but this out of season thing I try to take seriously and I walked right by the beautiful green with little heartache.

I don’t miss my avocados as much and I was worried about. And I must remember the blessings of living places where you eat what is in season, instead of what’s been shipped across the world to be in season.

I really believe there is a lot to be said environmentally and culinary creatively to be said for eating in season. So maybe it’s the price of avocados… but I’m enjoying new things and will have to go back to avocados as a special treat.