Jen had organized visits to the VCT clinic and home visits for the students, and worked it out so Rachel and I could also go. (The second day there ‘had’ to be staff present.)
So we all got into a taxi and headed for the VCT clinic in Alberton (also UM run). After an introduction and some questions, we were asked if we wanted to be tested. I was actually hoping all of the students regardless of age or material status would get tested. Some students were tested for the first time and can you imagine that kind of pressure. Tests always present pressure and even the things you think you know may not be valid. So I went in the room with the nurse and had my finger pricked and waited to see the results.
I am a big proponent of accepting testing. I think it keeps people from perpetuating the stigma. When I came out of the room, I was careful with my facial expressions, because everyone’s status is their own and I didn’t want to affect anyone else’s feelings. My exit counseling was a little rushed, but we had to go to the site visits, and the lady was very sweet nonetheless.
As we waited there I also couldn’t help look at the huge PEPFAR plaque. Its interesting seeing all these things played out on the other side. I think it was a similar feeling seeing UN trucks in DRC. And the VCT clinic was doing good work, and some of my largest issues with PEPFAR are being addressed. It is always interesting though knowing what is behind funding and deciding how I feel about it and how it really affects people.
I got tested for HIV and probably will again. And the circumstances are different here- but it’s not just an Africa problem, not just a young and old problem… there is a campaign here that says the Church has AIDS. Shouldn’t the church know its status? Shouldn’t you? If you and I know its easier for others to find out. It affects us all. Especially here though, where stigma’s are still high, but education is starting to take hold.
Then we went to go for home visits to people in the community. My group went into a township. The home-based care volunteers were a first brief and I was disappointed they weren’t sharing more with the students. But I also think they had to build some emotional barriers to keep going with the work.
The first stop we made was because the grandmother of one of the clients was calling to us as we walked by. The granddaughter is 9 and was at school. I was wondering if she was born with it, but as we left the caregiver said no – she was raped by a stepfather – who has since died along with her mother. However, she is doing very well know and back in school. The grandmother or Oma, was very interesting in me, because she was concerned about my skin and getting sunburned. It was very entertaining when I realized what she was trying to share.
And I realized though I didn’t fit at all in the community, in some ways I longed to be living there instead of farther out in the country. The sense of community with small gardens in the front of a small house or people walking by or people up to no good, just made me feel more alive. One of my students is a refugee from DRC and she said “people always told me to stay out of townships- that they are too dangerous, but this doesn’t seem too bad to me.” I responded we should be smart and careful wherever we are, but people live in any community no matter the statistics- and we should always respect where there is life.
All the clients we visited were doing relatively well, but each had their own struggle and was pretty open to sharing it. One was 54 and just very funny, obviously enjoying the attention but reaffirming the things she learned about the disease, even if other people do not understand and are judgmental in their ignorance. The students main comment was that people could still live with HIV and the impacts of that.
On the way out I wish I had my camera- there were two lines of wash. The first with clothes, the second with stuffed animals hanging by clothespins.
In debriefing with other groups one of our male students, Chembo had a really interesting experience. The men are separated, because they are not allowed to visit women. Chembo’s visit was very transformational for him I believe. He was visiting a man, who had a family but didn’t seem to get much help from his family. Out of concern Chembo asked how his family and especially his wife did not help him more when he was suffering. The caregiver slowly explained, that the man was never there for his family, and now that he was sick needed the wife. The explanation continued as the man slept around quite a bit and most offensively raped girls.
Chembo has some very firm beliefs on rape and was incredibly challenges by the fact that this man he met, that he was learning how to care for, had ruined other peoples lives. He told me he would have wanted this man killed at home, because he cannot tolerate the effects of this. But now he was faced on how do you care for someone that you had previously vowed to hate. What are you called to do in this situation? What makes someone human and can we really judge and decide who is?
The conversation was really powerful and I think Chembo will have to deal with what are the realities of this for a long time. And what do you do as a caregiver? What do you do about grace?
I think we have all cared for people at some point we don’t agree with, but something you have vowed to be against? I told him I think this is where the real mission of caring starts and brings a real world meaning of loving your enemies. Does he still deserve care and how do you truly care and not let you emotions negatively impact the situation? It is not a calling for everyone and I am sure we all have different views on it.
It is good to think about, but extreme to face. I am proud of him, willing to journey with this.
Finding grace and humanity,
Hannah
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