I see the world in photographs. Its something about the way light catches something or I get excited by an expression or color. And there is something about using that still, that moment in time, that helps me process the world around me. For all the talking I do to process and share stories, photography is sort of my alter ego. Its my introvert and extravert combining- and I almost feel like I treat the world with more respect taking the time to look and focus.
I was recently in Wattville one of the locations we work outside of Wattville (what some would call a Township). We were doing home visits to check on the people that had not come yet in the month to pick up food parcels. It was great for me to get a chance to work outside the office and meet more of the people we work with.
Though many reacted adversely at first because I was not a recognized member of the community and obviously an outsider by the color of my skin, if not all the other indicators. It took me a bit to catch on, but my co-workers got a good laugh because people kept thinking I was from Eskom the power company. They have recently been cracking down in locations, because people tap into other people’s wires illegally to spread more power usage. And they generally make people uneasy, which I understand from some of my encounters from this monopolistic power company. Anyway I was generally welcomed after this misconception was cleared up.
There were a few moments thought that I just saw these beautiful photographs. A bird perched on a wall with a jagged roof behind and an overcast sky. A gogo with her hair tied in a beautiful scarf with soft light from the window hitting half her face and a strong expression. I of course wouldn’t carry my large camera around a location so that I wouldn’t stand out even more making a larger barrier in the work I am trying to do. Especially on my first visit, plus its just not safe.
But I also started thinking about the language to ‘take’ a photo, when I was explaining to Patty my draw to photography and what I wanted to photograph. I was already thinking of how to ask the community what I could photograph and who and who to ask to help protect the project. But even with asking and having permission, the ‘taking a photograph’ still stayed with me.
This is not the first time I have considered the implication of photography. In high school I looked into some communities that really feel like you are stealing the soul to photograph a person. And just like I talked about the respect for a moment I feel when I take a photograph- I am also taking it, capturing that moment.
When I started more intense photography in high school, I often wondered why my photo teacher, Mr. Beland, wasn’t always taking photos. I felt be shared the same passion but why were all of us taking so many more photos. And over time I understand it more. Some days I feel like just being in the moment, or I already have told that kind of story and don’t feel a need to photograph. And some days I feel like to see I have to look through the lens. Or there is a story that just must be told. Or I need to be an observer.
Some days I take, other days I add. I am not totally unpacking it here- but it is taking that moment. Taking it away for a later date – upsetting the natural rhythm.
I have been very lucky to have a family that supported my habit growing up. My first pink square camera as a kid from my uncle that my parents helped pay to get the film developed. Then my dad got me an Olympus and taught me about a good lens. In middle school my mom got my first SLR, a lovely pentex. And then a year later my Dad got me a zoom lens before my first trip to Africa. Everyone in my family supported it, whether I stayed late at school or needed rides somewhere or had a lens in their face. Photography seems contagious around my group of friends and they share some really inspiring creativity and outlook.
And then in college I used all my saved waitressing money to buy my first SLR Nikon D70 digital camera. Over the past few years it has been on many journeys with me. And I often carefully consider where I take it and what are the risks or when to disguise it. So recently in Cape Town, Jen, Amanda and I were heading to Stellenbosch the wine region I had not visit in the three months before living there. The Tour was picking us up from where Jen stays and I decided I had really wanted to see this area and needed to take my camera.
We got a puncture with our tour driver Sele, and decided we needed a photo of the event so I pulled out my camera and then took another beautiful photo of the mountains in the distance with part of the township in it. It was lovely and the last photo I would ever take on the camera.
I’ll have to blog more on the robbery soon, but someone had snuck across the highway from the other side while we were talking on the shoulder and Sele was under the car getting the tire. In the second it took me to figure out what was going on the man reached in the driver’s side door and grabbed my camera and bag. I started after him with my camera just out of reach, but stopped when the danger of on coming cars set in. My last mental photo is my camera and bag going over the wall in the median of the highway after the man.
And now a week and a half later I don’t have a camera. (my small one was also in my bag so we could take videos.) And I still see the world in photos. But its life, photography still means a lot to me, but everyone is okay. And this will be one of those spells I have to keep everything in my head. And for a little while I will re-live the photos I was really excited about that were on those cameras.
But for now I am taking mental photos and angles of the brilliant purple flowers in bloom on the Jacaranda trees around Joburg and Benoni. I’ll have to work on my painting skills so I can share those images with all of you. Each time I see one it’s like a surprise of color popping next to the greens surrounding it.
It’s still the little wonders and I am still thankful for all the adventures my camera and I got to go on. So photograph or don’t, but take the time to respect and hold in those moments with a different focus than the rush of life.
Peace,
Hannah
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