Burn Out or angry together

Someone recently asked me if I was getting burned out. He was very sincere and was reacting to my explanation of my job and the legal and social difficulties facing immigrants in Florida. I laughed to myself, because at 25 if I was burnt out after 6 months in a job I would be a little concerned. I also know burnout is just not an option or letting an situation get hopeless. I respect too many mentors or people that I have studied that even in the coldest and darkest places pull through.

Back to my situation, some days things are frustrating. When I first got here I would get so frustrated (but always hid behind a smile) when people wouldn’t listen to what I was saying or would justify inaction. At this point, I have calmed down a bit and take more seriously meeting people where they are. I am less offended when people put me in my place as a young woman, even when if they just listened they would learn something. I appreciate the opportunity for any discussion much more now. Some days maybe I do not push enough because I want to make absolutely sure I am being respectful, especially to pastors I meet with. But somehow and sometimes in places I least expect it, I am with groups who are so genuine and sincere. Maybe they are genuine about their own point of view, or in an ability to ask good questions and learn, or they have their own migration story they share. Those days I learn a lot and am extremely thankful for an honest point of conversation. Those days make me remember to leave my preconceptions at the door, because maybe someone else’s preconceptions aren’t what I think.

I get frustrated when I meet really interesting people who we can’t do anything for in the legal system. This would probably be where the man’s comment of burnout came from, as it gets the most personal of the frustrations. Some days it is heartbreaking, but some days facing reality is. In fact some situations make me angry, especially when it is young people just trying to find a way to act with integrity. But when I am with people, I am generally happiest. Even when one problem can’t be solved, we find a space to talk and laugh and share. Maybe that sounds horrible, that a human face and stories we can do nothing about doesn’t make me angrier. I guess it is that I am rarely frustrated directly at the client and as I have written about before, its heartwarming to see a group of strangers become a cross-cultural community in an evening. And if I start feeling helpless or hopeless, how can I ask anyone else to act. At the end of the day under all the forms and fees and borders and expired licenses and raids, at the end of the day under all of that is a place for hope and for smart action.

And about 6 months in I think the best part when I do get really angry or frustrated – is I have some good people to do it with. I may not have a large group of friends here, but I have some incredible colleagues. Some who have long journeys with a change of heart or experience. Some who have worked hard and been very secretive about their lives. And some who have found strength in not being so scared and publicly talking about their status. Some who are finding creative ways to bring everyone to the table. Some who are passionate about justice, and some who are just tired.

I think if we are going to be angry or if we are going to try to find hope, it is much better to do it together. It can help protect against burn out and ensure we use all that emotion to get somewhere.