Today, during work group of us from work went to pay respects on behalf of the whole office for the passing of a former employees grandfather. The Mkhulu (here grandfather) had often visited at work.
We went dressed in skirts and long enough sleeves. We brought songs and someone to read from the bible. And we brought money for candles.
I have been on one other occasion to go pay respects and that was for my bosses mother in law passing. Both times we took up a collection for money for candles. No matter how hard people are doing financially, they come up with something to give for money for candles. We go to the family and wait till other visitors are away from the family members grieving and then generally enter the bedroom filled with chairs. It is often the elders we pay respects to and sing for, and then a guy from work who hope to one day be a pastor shares a message. We sing some more (my colleagues think I know the songs because I sing along whether I know or understand or not). And then the family often shares something (again very hard for me to understand because it is in another language and I don’t know them well. It is easier for my to understand what my co-workers say even if I don’t know the words, because I know their clues).
And then we each greet the family as we leave the room, to move to another room for tea and cakes.
I love the way we collect money for candles it just sounded so nice, so I asked what it meant. And one of my co-workers looked and me and said, “Hannah, we don’t know.” More saying it is tradition so we don’t worry about it.
When we got back I asked Mr. Brown, our Mkhulu, at the office. He explained before the body came to the house before burial, and white sheet would be spread out and candles would be lit at the two corners. And candles would stay lit at these corners until the funeral was over. So no matter how much money you had you brought something to help with the candles.
The tradition has changed a bit and generally people just do that now for right as the body is brought to the house. But thinking on it there has been a candle in the room both times I have gone to pay respect. Mr. Brown says now it's more to help with tea or cakes for visitors, or just tea if people are poorer. But it is always some sort of collection of money.
Mr. Brown also says it is the only place he takes tea with sugar or cakes. He is diabetic, but in those situations he takes things as the family offers them. I am very humbled in these situations and the level on which you connect with people. For a week or more sometimes people just mourn and receive visitors.
So we always bring money for candles.
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Thank you